Shanna’s blog

It seems more often than not that when we hear the word "adversity" we think of it as a negative term.  But when I step back and think about the population that may jump there, I think of people that fear challenge and don't place any value in the core of what adversity is.  There seems, to me, to be a streaming current of flow that facilitates change and most importantly, change that proves to be improvement.  Improvement is the beholders based on their definition of success.  That is the easy part; the hard part is truly understanding and having those "moments of truth" where you are honest with yourself.  

Sometimes we go straight to the title.  We want to know what we are living for or where we should guide ourselves.  If the ending has already been written then why are we so eager to live a predetermined life?  Most importantly how do we know what is guiding us?  Is it the right course?  Why are we so quick to jump to the end and wrap it up in a little bow so we know. 

There are so many questions to ask and yet we self fulfill ahead of the game. 

What makes me stumble, stumble not in the I have lost the race stumble, but instead the kind you falter, dust yourself off and learn a big lesson stumble:

• People that are lacking unselfishness the majority of time.  This causes me to wonder what they have lacking that they don't see others as a value and themselves as a potential henderance sometimes.
• Not trying something new.  What causes such a big fear that you walk only inches from your "normal" life to see that you really do have it good and you don't take it for granted or you really need to make changes in your life.  Which brings me to...
• People that don't see the importance of change.  Staring the opportunity of growth straight in the face yet standing still is enough. 
  
• The unwanted need to sympathize even when you are neck deep in your own hurt.  Where did our connectivity go even when there are more ways to to connect.

I suppose in the end everyone has their own way to get where they need to go, however I can't seem to wonder if we all could do that on our own why do we hunger for a status check? 

We all know during this time of economic uncertainty, we need to mold and take advantage of our networking circle.  Perhaps we think it is big enough or it doesn't seem to be working.  We may be discouraged at work or the events that we go to from time to time.  Overall, I think it is safe to say that we could all use fine tuning or an overhaul in the world of relationship management. 

Here are a few suggestions that will help you get started.  There are many more opportunities in the world of networking, but I have spelled out three areas to get your pipeline flowing.  Once you start working on it the creative ideas will rush in and start a sizeable effect.

1. Know yourself - How can you sell yourself if you don't understand your strengths?  Explore some times in your life when a job or project lite you on fire and moved you to jump out of bed to take the next challenge on.  Ask people in your world what they think you do well professionally and personally.  Where are some areas you can improve, the learning process and the growth process is one of the most exciting parts in my life. Bedsides, building your resume never hurts.
2. Capitalize on Social media - Yes, sign up for networks liked linkedin, blogging networks, and industry specific sites where online and in person forums are consistently held.  But don't just be a lurker, become a contributor.  Know the area that you are credible in and share it with the world.  Write an article, blog on sites, create forums to discuss and have meetings on.  Become a noticable expert in your area. 
   
3. Be Courageous - Don't just sit in the corner worrying about what to say.  Do your research on yourself, the industry, the business world and the rest will come.  Find your voice, know your elevator pitch about what you want and where you want to go and then go for it.  Most importantly be creative with how you approach your networking opportunities, the world needs more creative thinking to get us moving!  Rember, if you have a great idea and don't try it, then you are more indideous than the person that sits there and doesn't contribute.

Good luck!
 

This word has been such a serious and feared word with a seemingly heavy weight on many men.  I have to say that this burden was always carried by me instead, the woman.  I have entangled and stunted my relationship happiness with many men that wouldn’t allow me commitment or I wouldn’t allow to be committed.  In the end, the true responsibility lies with me.

I have stopped myself to become committed by mixing myself up with those who can’t or aren’t ready to commit or if they were then I plainly was scared away.  I do have to admit being in control of that outcome feels a lot safer than not.  To be “wanted” might be the ultimate form of flattery.  However, flattery really does not get men far with me, at least not down the long aisle that I would walk.

It is telling the company we keep, however should we always judge a person by the company they have kept?  I suppose not if the lesson has been learned.  I did have some bad taste in men towards the beginning.  I didn’t like the “rebel”, but I was attracted to the type of man that didn’t want to marry while leaving behind the “great” men that wanted that picket fence dream.  I don’t regret my decision in life to the extent that I would go back and do it all differently.

I am who I am now.  I am very smart and capable of seeing myself whether it is mistake making, success driven, but ultimately empowered, human being.  I know now my fear of commitment isn’t keeping me from going down the aisle any more, but yet a smart shot of common sense to tell me who to give my heart to.  When you decide to commit to someone it isn't all happy, butterflies in your stomach every second of the day.  It is honest hard work, but very enriched work and quite frankly I wouldn't be in the game of commitment if it didn't mean it wasn't rewarding.  However, the shot of reality is that it isn't all fantasy land rides.

The other part of the commitment game is the touchdown; the action that pulls you into the goal lines.   When all is said and done, the form of commitment does not necessarily come with a diamond ring, but someone that stands by your side, holds your hand when you need it, gives without giving up of themselves, someone that wants and is ready to have a relationship with another and that will be there when you wake up.  No fairy tale dreams here with big veils and large buffet lines, but a good old fashion sense of a healthy relationship.   The “we” in the conversation instead of all I’s.  The deep gut understanding what you truly have in a partnership and the smarts to know you don't want to go it alone, you could and you can, but why when you have someone next to you that enriches who you are and you do the same back; not because you can, but because you want to.  

 

As many of you already know, I went sky diving to celebrate my graduation from UW.  Yes, officially obtaining my

masters in digital media communications has lead me to throw myself off a plane.  Don't get me wrong, both experiences have shaped who I am and who I am becoming.  Both rewarding in their own right.

I have so much to say about the experience, about the instructor, about the process, about the scenery, however I am more compelled to talk about how it made me feel.  Bear with me as I articulate one of the best rides of my life.

Ever since I was a little girl I have felt a hesitation to really live my life to the fullest.  It might have been my experiences growing up that have made me fearful of certain adventures, but in the end the fear that wins all battles of any fear I might have is the fear to not actually follow through with something because of just that, fear. That is a mouthful, but in the end, not doing something because of fear scares the hell out of me.  Thus an adventurer was born.

Expanding on this idea: when I was little I had my normal neighborhood and classmate friends.  We experienced our typical adventures that a team of kids would be expected to pursue, however it was nothing close to what my imagination really wanted to do.  I spent countless hours in my room daydreaming scripted scenes in my head and talking them aloud almost reciting it on a stage. It wasn't until I left home for boarding school at age 16 that I started my first real adventure outside my house and head.  From that point on I have been doing my best to materialize my day dreaming into lucid reality.

To really appreciate what sky diving did for me you would have to understand where my state of mind was.  One of my life chapters with school had just ended and the continuation of my learning in that capacity was up in the air, so to speak. This included a foundational set of cohorts and a familiarity of routine.  At that point I had been feeling disconnected to life and even the people around me.  For most of you, you understand my emotional health.  I have experienced, like nearly everyone, some big life events and my ability to trust someone else has been challenged.  The feeling of shouldering my own life has always weighed on me regardless of who stands by myself as a champion.  These struggles of reaching out and truly letting down walls was particularly pressing on me at this cycle in my life.

Most importantly, in the subject of love in my life.  I have pseudo loved most of my existence.  I have day dreamed about finding the ultimate relationship where I can be me and be accepted and to love someone and accept them right back.  It is safe to want something, but to actually wholeheartedly experience it is another story.  It scares you to take the leap and once you have made that decision you almost want to release a hatch and turn back.  In fact there are many times that I do that still before I realize the unhealthy behavior and try and make my course correction.  Sometimes these corrections are too late to salvage a relationship, but it makes room for the next relationship that is an even better blessing in my life.  Which I do believe I have finally found now.  But it did not come until I finally made the jump.

There I was, strapped to another person that I was suppose to instantly trust to guide me safely to the ground.  I was lined up in this small tin airplane with other divers as we climbed to 4 thousand, 5 thousand, 10 thousand and finally to 13 thousand feet.  My tandem partner and I were the last to jump.  We scooted to the edge of the door opening and hung my legs off the side as I waiting for him to roll me down off the edge.  Suddenly I was dropping at about 240 mph.  Remarkably that is not when I was scared, it was only in the beginning while I was looking at the drop.  All fear dissolved as I seemingly floated down with the Pacific Northwest scenery comforting me from all sides.  I don’t even remember thinking when the shoot would open.  Instead I was feeling the intense feeling of not wanting it to end.  I thought about what I had and will accomplish as I finally nudge myself to the edge of any new experience, no matter how scary. 

Jumping was giving me the strength outside of the sky diving to take even more chances in my life.   Sometimes you need someone to help you take the plunge in life, just like it takes someone else to hurt your trust.  There is nothing wrong with getting support in a partner and trusting.   And in the end, landing on my feet was the easiest part of the trip.

While I start to articulate my experience in the living and not just in my head, I continue to day dream to this day, the adventures of what is to come.

I will be re-purposing this blog.  Yes, I will still talk about my triathlon progress, but I will also be airing my thoughts.  Please feel free to have a two way conversation with me.  I want to know your thoughts as I share my viewpoints.  New post to come this week if not tonight!

Thanks!

Alright, I have sort of hidden myself in the back corner out of shame for not training.  A few weeks back I got an infection that caused me to recoil for a week and then I never untangled myself from that moment.  Interesting how small set backs can cause such a long ripple effect.

I have been thinking long and hard on whether or not I should do this.  I go back and forth with the thought of going forward to just have a base line for next years race that will be more rehearsed or giving in to a bribe to go to the beach that weekend instead.  Most of you know what a huge fan I am of the beach and there was a slight hesitation in my step. 

Nonetheless, I am still going to do it with one condition.  Next weekend I will be doing a practice run.  I will do the same amount of swim/bike/run combination and see how it feels.  Crazy?  It might be given the race is the following weekend.  Check back in to see if I make it.

It seems that my intentions are usually good, however at the very last minute I find myself ill prepared and then given the decision to back out or give it my best.  In reality, my best would have been my best if I had stuck to my training.  if you believe in fate, like I do, then you will understand my thinking of being just where I should be mentality.  this isn't an excuse to not practice, but a learning lesson on my part.  After all, it does not come without consequences.  The weekend of the 19th will be a tough day for me because of the decision to not train.  Again, I have learned a lesson in my life that will not be fully recognized until later, maybe that race weekend and maybe a year from then when I run a stronger race. 

No matter how you look at it, we set ourselves up for most of our lessons.  Yes, imagine that, we have responsibility and accountability of our actions in our life and I am trying to to be just that, be responsible and accountable to what I started.

Wish me well!

I didn't write this week and I had a few of my friends notice.  I was surprised, because I didn't realize anyone was looking on past the first week.  Thank you for all of you who have checked and thank you for those who have pinged me for support!

I went to an REI triathlon 101 meeting.  The meeting was about preparing those of us who have not done a triathlon.  They (they being good looking athletes that have ran over a dozen of triathlons that even include the olympic distance) prepared me for what it may look and feel like, mostly focusing on what to wear, how to position yourself in the race at the starting point and how to make the transition from swimming to biking to running!  I learned a lot, noting mostly that I wasn't prepared on the gear front.  Never fear, I am making a trip down to Portland and will be picking up tax free equipment, a rode bike being the most important.  Yes, that is right, I don't even have a road bike yet, but the training on the mountain bike makes it harder to train an the transition may show to be very nice when I start to train on the road bike.  We will most definitely see.

On the mind front.  I have so much going on in my head right now with graduation looming, my career taking off and other things that just wouldn't be appropriate in this blog.  On a side note, lets catch up and have a drink if you want to exchange life notes.  however, if I stick with the road map for training that Steve (my faithful companion in training and my boyfriend) I can flush out the rest of my life, planning in my head and soaking it up during the activities.  Any other thinkers while you work out?  There is no stopping in the build up, being that I will be soon combining two events a day in training.

Again, I have so much that I am thinking and feeling in my life right now.  I want to express it in a blog, but this venue does not seem like the place.  More later perhaps.

Stats:  172 lbs.  7lbs weight lose thus far. 

 

I have this weird habit where I consistently say to myself what my intentions are.  I verbalize events before they happen. For example, you really want to be on time for that important meeting and you are doing everything in your power to assure you success, yet traffic gets in the way.  I would sit there and say, thank you for me getting to the meeting on time and then envision the traffic to start to open up after a stalled car just ahead and myself sitting at the table with important clients perfectly on time and ready. 

No matter how hard you envision and make your intentions clear in the space you own in this world, it doesn't always happen the way you think it should or could.  Where it gets particularly messy is when you try to involve others to change reactions or behaviors.  What if you are having an argument with your partner and you said something stupid, but immediately came to your senses and corrected your reaction (right or wrong).  Lets say your partner wasn't simultaneously as enthusiastic to move on.  You start to try and envision them laughing it off, grabbing your hand and walking down the path together.  The tricky part is the state of mind that we all get in, which may be caused from our past filters.  No amount of our visualization exercises for others can move the direction they go in, instead it is their power in their mind that can sort it out.

I can't help but wonder, as hard as I envision my victory over any race, whether the triathlon; my career; my relationships, whatever...how are my filters getting in the way of achieving happiness?  I get that happiness is not necessarily defined by coming in 10th out of 100 racers, but instead finishing strong and proud of myself.  Nonetheless, when you want so badly to be strong and make your intentions clear of what your goals are, when does looking off to the side to want someone or something to be there mentally with you become a road block instead of a speed bump. 

I am not asking for all of you to sit back and start envisioning my success of the race, but instead look at how we each affect each others energy and success.  We may not be able to control everything around us, but trying, adding positive thoughts, and inspiriting others (not just ourselves) should be on our road map at some point.

I hesitate to say that I know anything about this process and that I even practice it religiously.  I just know that there is value in growing together instead of trying to figure it all out in our own heads.  There is a balance of trying to figure out when to hold a hand and when to let one go.  There is a balance of support that we all offer each other in our own ways.  What I am asking is to question your support you offer others around you, because I know I am!  I am envisioning all of our success right now.

Stats:  I am down to 174.5lbs.  I had two good runs, a strong hike and two bike rides.  This week I have to step it up...no doubt! 

I am one day away from completing week 2.  It wasn't as pretty as I had hoped, but I have reassessed my game plan and am announcing my new strategy!  That makes me think of something...

This actually reminds me of a conversation that my boyfriend, Steve, and I talked about as we were wondering down a main street in downtown NYC.  We were contemplating staying static because of so many choices that defocus you or confuse you in some way VS. having a clear goal and working towards that as if you were a greyhound with blinders!  In the end we rationalized that if you thought of a goal for yourself and set out, but realized that different tracks and side bars actually have some value.  In the end it breathes movement to state your goals, but because there are different routes or the destination isn't what you thought it would be...you have accomplishments and in most ways, more value added in the end. 

As for my new idea on training?  I joined Weight Watchers today!  I am going to be tracking calories, fat and fiber over the amount of carbohydrates.  This will help me build muscle more and in the end will allow me to eat according to the amount I burn in my training.  Makes sense, doesn't it? 

I feel that I am weaving a little in my triathlon race, but there is movement and I see value in the exploration of my process.  Here is to change and adaptation during our journeys!